It was, admittedly, a challenging day. A perfect storm of circumstances that led me to heavy sighs and zero productivity. Typically, I would park myself at my computer, give myself a stern talking to, and try mightily to get something –- anything – done! (For the record, this is not a helpful approach, although I persist in trying it.)
On this day, though, perhaps weary from my own tyranny, with a dawning awareness that this approach gets me nowhere, a thought arrived, fleeting and delicate as a lightning bug. It asked, ‘What is the kindest thing you could do for yourself right now?’
I stopped. Surprised. This was unexpected. Curious. As if it came from outside of me. In considering the question, my shoulders lowered from my ears, my breathing began to slow, my heart, though cautious, felt warmer, more open. I thought about all that led to this difficult day and felt compassion begin to nudge my harsh critic.
What if my need to make a difference / to be purposeful (which is my faithful and sometimes unrelenting workmate) walked beside this question of kindness…self-kindness? What if I paused and considered the larger question of what my heart needs in this moment? Is it possible, if I listened, if I tended to this need, I might even circle back to my work with enthusiasm and inspiration?
It was an odd notion, but I found myself making pancakes. I don’t even really like pancakes, I rarely make them, but I could sense there was more to it. I was craving the sweetness of the maple syrup and the connection it carried, having been tapped and boiled with a dear friend who passed away only a couple of years ago.
And so, I made pancakes, right in the middle of my workday. I felt the sweetness, the sadness, the love of my friend. I sat back down to continue working on designing the upcoming Re-Wilding Retreat that I was leading.
Re-Wilding – returning land, a body of water, or in this case ourselves back to our natural, uncultivated state. Making a place for our true Wild nature to emerge again in our lives. That’s what this retreat was about. I needed a powerful ending exercise that pulled it all together.
It’s easy to get distracted, to be overwhelmed, to put off our Wildness – the heart of who we are – in service to other things. So Re-Wilding brings you back. Again and again, because that’s what it takes.
With a belly full of pancakes, I sat down and tried again. I designed an exercise for people to draw their personal Re-Wilding map – words, images, activities, thoughts that can guide them back to their Wild spirit.
At the retreat, people loved it. The maps were colorful and vibrant, filled with practical, whimsical, deep, and heartfelt ways to get back to themselves when the world…or their own thoughts… press in too close.
I made one too. I called it the Map of the kindest things. And you can bet that one of the stops along the path was a drawing of pancakes and a jar of maple syrup.
